Now I know...
that you never know what someone did behind your back
that when you dont speak out, nobody knows what you are thinking/want
that you feel cold even when you loved one is just beside you
that when you are angry, people just dont give a damn to you, that feeling really sucks =(
that being alone, sometimes you feel happy but most of the time you dont!
that when your love one is just in the same area as you, but you dont get to be with him
that even if you cried, doesnt mean people will care about you
that there are so much things I have been keeping it in my heart and choose not to spill out
that even I spill it out, there are no changes. People just dont like to listen.
Sometimes I wonder who am I to be here, who am I to say all these things, even wonder who am I to you. Me, is like someone that dont serve any purpose in anywhere. Do I really have a place in your heart? I doubt it, seriously. You can accuse me that Im too much, childish, whatever words that you want to use to describe me, but please please please think of what I told you.
I thought by telling you the feelings and thoughts will help, but looks like it is not working on you. Then, what should I do? Told you everything and you asked me what should you do. In fact, I should be the one that ask you this question. I should shut my mouth, accept everything that happen to me with a happy smile on my face?
I am so sorry that I dont know how to hide my emotions. Why do I have to fake my expression on something I dont like? Why when I express my emotions and I am the one that get scolding? Why people who open their mouth to express always get scolding and blame? Why? You tell me why!
How many times do I have to say that I am just a normal girl that need to feel loved and care from the love one? So hard meh? or I am someone that dont deserve to be happy, loved and lucky? I deserve to be alone is it? which is what I am experiencing all the time...sigh!
I am darn piss off on him and also myself. Sometimes I wonder if I kept quiet, fake my emotions perhaps things will not be that bad but that's so not me. Tell me what should I do, I am too tired to think anymore...
I hate all these dilemmas and myself. Yes I hate me =(
那种被重视的感觉真的很好。。。
但，那种感觉离我好远好远！
用心的去重视我，真的那么难？
我就是一个那么难相处的一个人？
that when you dont speak out, nobody knows what you are thinking/want
that you feel cold even when you loved one is just beside you
that when you are angry, people just dont give a damn to you, that feeling really sucks =(
that being alone, sometimes you feel happy but most of the time you dont!
that when your love one is just in the same area as you, but you dont get to be with him
that even if you cried, doesnt mean people will care about you
that there are so much things I have been keeping it in my heart and choose not to spill out
that even I spill it out, there are no changes. People just dont like to listen.
Sometimes I wonder who am I to be here, who am I to say all these things, even wonder who am I to you. Me, is like someone that dont serve any purpose in anywhere. Do I really have a place in your heart? I doubt it, seriously. You can accuse me that Im too much, childish, whatever words that you want to use to describe me, but please please please think of what I told you.
I thought by telling you the feelings and thoughts will help, but looks like it is not working on you. Then, what should I do? Told you everything and you asked me what should you do. In fact, I should be the one that ask you this question. I should shut my mouth, accept everything that happen to me with a happy smile on my face?
I am so sorry that I dont know how to hide my emotions. Why do I have to fake my expression on something I dont like? Why when I express my emotions and I am the one that get scolding? Why people who open their mouth to express always get scolding and blame? Why? You tell me why!
How many times do I have to say that I am just a normal girl that need to feel loved and care from the love one? So hard meh? or I am someone that dont deserve to be happy, loved and lucky? I deserve to be alone is it? which is what I am experiencing all the time...sigh!
I am darn piss off on him and also myself. Sometimes I wonder if I kept quiet, fake my emotions perhaps things will not be that bad but that's so not me. Tell me what should I do, I am too tired to think anymore...
I hate all these dilemmas and myself. Yes I hate me =(
那种被重视的感觉真的很好。。。
但，那种感觉离我好远好远！
用心的去重视我，真的那么难？
我就是一个那么难相处的一个人？
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