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"不管我做错什么，不管我有什么表现得不够好，
一次又一次的原谅我，一次又一次的祝福我，
一次又一次让我在台上觉得我的存在是有价值的
沒有人是十全十美的，我当然有优点，
可是我觉得其实我有缺点，我有我不够的地方，
是这些人一直一直的SUPPORT我走到今天，
希望我们可以一直走下去……"

听到这感言时，非常感动甚至哭到很惨。。。
但是现在的我，对这一切一切。。。失望？
是自己选择不去想不去看
现在懂了学会了，不是应该开心吗？
不单没有开心还觉得心痛。。。

只能说我觉得自己很笨！

无言，无言，无言。。。

很多事情都不能看表面
因为表面其实隐藏了很多东西
很多时候我们都相信表面而忘了想那被隐藏的东西
打个比喻好了，男生都喜欢美女
而女生喜欢帅哥。。。
但不是每个美女或帅哥都有一颗美丽的心
反而不被重视的普通男女或许有那颗美的心
但却被忽略。。。

每次就在我充满希望与快乐时
总是会让我看到难过的一面
老天爷好像在提醒我
事情是没有那么完美的
我也不懂我应该谢谢老天爷还是生气它。。。

我没有在怪任何人，真的。。。
我只需要把一部份的东西发泄出来
要不然我真的会疯掉
这一些事情让我变得无情
因为我不敢把任何感情放在任何一格地方
很怕放了感情然后开始在乎。。。
如果发生什么事，心会很痛
那失望和痛，你没有经历过你真的不懂
你希望它会是这样但它却出乎你意料
想生气却不知应该气谁。。。

今天所写的一切都代表我这几天的心情
只是一部份因为写再多也没用
友情，爱情。。。这些是什么？
它可以很脆弱，可以很坚固
最重要也要看别人是不是和你想得也一样

When I heard the touching words said in the concert
I cried like mad, it was seriously very touching
but...now, that feeling faded for god knows what reason

In the past, I choose not to see not to think
but sometimes is not about what you chosen
things still happen even you choose not to see or hear about it
so now what? face it? accept it? how???
accept it with an open heart?
welcome it with a big smile?
Is not easy to do so even you tried very hard to do so

I should feel happy that Im aware of it
but the pain in my heart tells me that Im not happy at all

people tend to just look at the surface
and tend to ignore or forget to pay attention to the inner part
which I think the inner part should be the most important part
For example, guys love pretty girls and vise versa
but not all pretty girls and boys have a good heart
where as the people with good heart but without gorgeous look
often ignored by people! people just refuse to pay attention on them
is this fair? Of course not!
people know it and yet still doing it...

Everytime when I felt happy or hopeful
the next second somehow something will happen
and teach me that "Jiayi, this is not the truth"
"Come, I will show you the truth"
yes! I know the truth and truth is always heart breaking
well, at least to me It is always like that...
of course I dont want it to be like that
but do I have a choice? obviously, No!

I do get confuse that I should thank god for telling me the truth
or I should get angry? well, I know I should thank god despite the heart breaking feeling

Im not blaming anyone and I know I shouldn't blame anyone
I just need a place to shout out at least part of my feelings
or not I will go crazy...

because of all these incidents happen
I felt that I became kinda cold blooded
as in I dare not invest any feelings in anything
because I scared the disappointment will be really big
the disappointment and heart breaking cannot be define by words
you have to go through it and feel it for yourself...
then you will know how pain is it

Whatever written today represents how I felt past few days
friendship, love relationship...What are all these?
is all about trust, care, love? It should be so?
but in reality, it is like that?
what you always thought it will be, sometimes it dont turn up as how you thought it will

all kinds of relationship can be fragile, can be strong too
but it depends on it is you the only one who want this?
or others also think like how you do?

A lot of questions but a few unconfirmed answers...