Emo

because Im all alone now
brother went out to work
I went swimming, luckily didnt rain hehe!
saw a couple swimming at the pool
saw parents with kids at the pool
I, alone swimming "with" them

I stared at the houses and lake opposite my apartment
nothing in my mind but my tears start flowing out
Mama went to Myanmar
brother off to work
Raymond went to Penang
I called him and he's at 988 event
Artistes including Fish Leong, Yoga Lim and others!!!
why he didnt ask me to tag along with him???
He said he didnt know this event is a big one
ya whatever! You are there and Im all alone here!
=((((

Gosshh I hate loneliness
seriously hate it!
It is affecting my thoughts, mood...

anyway I continued swimming until everyone left the pool
I walked home, took bath and ate my tabao-ed chicken rice
when Im sitting at the couch watching tv
I will think of Raymond in Penang
and Im here all alone
Im free to go with him there but why Im here???
T_T

I know I should stop thinking all these nonsense
what Im facing now is no big deal
I hate myself when I start crying or feeling bad over these things
I know is no big deal but I still feel sad
I hate myself being so weak so not independent
ya I really kinda hate myself =(((

although I think I will cry to sleep tonight
I guess I will be fine soon
I just need to shout out somewhere
You see, Im all alone at home nobody to talk to
wanna sign in msn but cant!
Streamyx, I dont know why Im paying you for this kind of service
so this is the only place for me to "talk"

AHHH~ shoo shoo go away loneliness!!!

* Luckily I can sign in msn now. At least I can chat with Yumo and Vicky or not I will go mad =="
Love you two *muakz*


现在的心情是。。。难过？
也好像说不上难过， 就。。。不开心！

今天总于去游泳了，没下雨嘻嘻！
看到一对情侣，一家人在游泳
而我呢？就一个人游咯

游着游着看着对面的屋子和湖发呆
还发了蛮久的时间，眼泪就不知觉得留下
我真的好讨厌孤独的感觉
这种一个人吃饭，一个人做东西。。。

我打电话给陈先生，他告诉我林宥嘉，梁静茹还有其他歌手都会在那里表演
在Penang，是988的活动
我就问他，你为什么没叫我和你一起去？
他说他不懂。是的，随便咯
反正现在你就在那里，我就一个人在这里
我能怎样？

现在上网，看电视我都会想到他在Penang我在这里
就开始不开心。我明明是得空可以去我干嘛在这里？

我应该不要再想了， 现在发生的就不是些大事情
我就讨厌自己那么的弱，这样子就哭
我就不喜欢我那么不独立
对，我讨厌我自己我的生活

虽然今晚应该会哭着睡觉
但我觉得我应该会okay的
MSN sign in 不到， 就不能和朋友聊天
所以这里是我唯一一个可以哭诉的地方了

寂寞啊，你走吧！

*还好，MSN可以sign in可以和Vicky，锈滢聊要不然我会疯掉。 爱死你们嘻嘻！